The Storm After the Seduction

The Andi Chronicles, Part 2

Published on May 13, 2004 By mittens In Sex & Romance

So, you may wonder, given the overall positive mood of the last entry (the non-game ones), why I had to insert the first couple paragraphs and the quite-obvious scorned feelings that they presented. Well, you see, the night of drinking and good wacky drunk puking fun (for the two womenfolk) was the night of goodness and happiness. That was the night where I met the ever-so-fun-to-talk-to Sam [her real name is mentioned once, and only once, in this period of doubt]. Now: the rest of the story.

You see, the day afterwards, I talked to a cute, little friend of mine (CLF, the one that was previously passed out and puking the night before), and tried getting some information about this mysterious Sam character. CLF, really, had nothing bad to say about Sam; which, odd as it was, saddened me. I was hoping to find out that she’s just a nice person when she’s drunk and that she keeps baby children locked in a closet, and whips-them-when-she-gets-mad kind of evil person. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you’re a baby, I was wrong. CLF said Sam was a really nice, really funny and witty person; and that she really had nothing bad to say about Sam. Well, fuck. I did so well staying out of a relationship this year… Well, except that little sexual-ish experience with Rebecca that occurred at a very odd, if not completely random, time during spring break… But that’s another story that will only impact this one mildly later on.

So, just to make sure I was clear on this fact, I preceded to get drunk that night… Simply to reflect upon my deepest subconscious desires that lay beneath the largest and most fortified surface of my brain, of course. Instead, I think I just rambled incoherently to my Korean roommate, who has a fixation with making fun of me about my love of cats by saying that he desperately wants to eat a cat, about all my flaws. I can’t really remember all that I rambled on about in my makeshift-truth-serum-induced state; experiment failed.

Next plan was to wake up in the morning, insanely early since my body really didn’t want me getting more than four hours of sleep for some random asinine reason, and attempt to forget all about Sam. I succeeded! Until the point where my roommate came down from CLF’s room and told me that Sam was up there. Well, fuck! NOW SHE’S ON MY MIND AGAIN! Thanks roommate, now I’m going to taunt you endlessly about my own problems, thus making me feel worse, and you feel no different at all. It was a solid plan.

Having succeeded in making myself feel worse about the fact that I may be falling for a physically-attractive (in an odd kind of way though — it just defies reason) brunette with, basically, the personality of my dream-girl, I decided to move on to another plan: talk to CLF. I decided to go up to her room and ask her if she wanted to share an extremely romantic dorm cafeteria dinner with me. She couldn’t [god dammit, and I had just gotten the guts to talk to her about it!], as she was going out to dinner with someone else in, like, a real restaurant. No way my poor college freshman-soon-to-be-sophomore-self could compete with that. Wait a second? Why am I getting annoyed that I can’t have dinner with CLF today? I mean, she promised we could have dinner the day after. Oh. Dear. God… I have a thing for her!

How in the hell flying son of a bitch fuck did I let myself get attracted to CLF? I mean, sure she’s cute beyond reason, an upbeat personality that makes me almost feel like a pessimist (I’m quite the optimistic chap, 99% of the time anyway; I have my down days), not to mention that she’s cute beyond reason… Oh. I guess I know why. Though, wait, I’ve known her for a good part of the year, and having been one of the handful of guys that didn’t fall into her Siren-like attraction powers, why did my body have to choose now, of all times, to give into her other-worldly attractive uber-force-powers? Why? I decided it was time to consult the makeshift-truth-serum of alcohol again.

This truth serum was a bit more effective; made in-house by my own brother-figure Shabazz (no, that’s not his parent-given name; just a common hall alias… deal with it), consisting of god-knows-what. I found it far more effective that the previous truth serum from the other night. This time I actually got on the topic of addressing my various girl issues… Only to pass out moments later — go fucking figure.

In those milliseconds of truth, I think I realized that I didn’t have a thing for CLF, I was just so curious about Sam, not to mention the prospect of actually liking a woman again (and having it not be the result of the horny hormones my body likes to attempt to pass off as the real thing). Though, I still wasn’t sure. Therefore, I counted down each millisecond that passed until I was able to have dinner with CLF. Needless to say: it wasn’t a very productive morning/afternoon. Hell, I couldn’t even concentrate on playing a video game. These are tough times for a man.

The time did eventually come though, even if it was a very long time in the coming. I thought I was going to have to do a bit of lying/sneaking-around to the group of friends that were in my room; though, thankfully, they were all staring at the 27” cathode ray tube shooting photons to their eyes in the form of their Halo match. I worked my way up to the fourth floor, which was a massive single flight of stairs that seemed to stretch to forever, in the way you’d imagine the stairway to heaven to stretch on forever. When I finally made it through the seemingly-endless trek to CLF’s door, I knocked. It was a loud, horrible, terrible sound of a knock that echoed endlessly in my ears until it felt like my head was going to spontaneously combust from the extreme pressure; though it eventually resulted in the door opening to the face of an absolute angel. Oh, god, and this angel smiles. I melt. All form of intelligent/witty things that I may have had planned for my entrance just slipped out of my mouth in an incomprehensible flow of invisible drool. Not to mention the fact that my mouth had dried up, in such a way that would embarrass the Sahara, in the picoseconds it took for my eyes to notice the sheer brilliance of CLF’s face.

We walked downstairs, and talked of all sorts of great things while we made our way to the inevitable torture that was the dorm’s cafeteria of certain death. We grabbed our food, sat down, and talked on a level that CLF and I had ever failed to communicate on before. We talked of present romances, we talked of our childhoods, our history, our coming-to-be-in Ann Arbor stories and, generally, had a great time just eating and talking together. It was at this very point that I realized that I had made a great new friend, who I could confide in. It was also at this point, that I was brought back to the fact that it wasn’t CLF I liked, it was Sam. I thus proceeded, from my newly-found confidence, to get Sam’s contact information from CLF… Then I realized I didn’t have anything to write said contact information down (I don’t know why I didn’t attempt to remember it, I have the memory of a fucking elephant), so I told CLF to get back to me when she got a chance. Little did I realize I was going to spend the next 36 hours in complete anticipation, waiting for CLF to get a phone number or IM name to me. No truth serum for the night; though there was no sleep either.

Once I finally got the IM name, I was overjoyed to finally be able to talk to Sam again. We got along well-enough on the internet, and she was indeed a funny, witty and intelligent person. God dammit, everything I was looking for. Dammit; I’m not ready to fuck up another possibly good relationship yet. I’m just not.

Sam and I talked off-and-on for the days following that, though it was by some odd miracle that she got an IM where I asked her to call me, and managed to call me the moment we were near the same part of campus a few days later. We ended up getting together, and walking around campus (while she waited to look at an apartment) just talking. It was a great time. I was and, for fuck’s sake, still am unsure as to how she feels about me on the level that I think I want her to feel. She says she wants to be friends before she gets into any type of relationship, which is a sentiment that I can perfectly understand.

There was, however, a long period of time last week, while I was internet-less and, for the most part, completely lonely in my new apartment with no one to talk to. I made multiple trips every day to one of the campus’s computer labs to get work done, and hopefully see Sam online (I tried calling her once, and left a message, though it was never returned that week); though while her name was online, she never responded. Having left a message and tried talking to her numerous times, and with me being quite the paranoid and completely unconfident guy when it comes to romance, I figured she was just ignoring me. I mean, I hadn’t talked to her since our meeting on-campus; maybe I did something to greatly offend her, or make her hate me. I just wasn’t sure. It got so bad, at one point, that I called up Rebecca — who, to make a long story short, made me break my own rule of never “doing anything” with a woman involved in a relationship, and then ignoring me. Making me not only feel like crap for doing something with a woman in a relationship, but ignoring me afterwards; but finally “getting some” (I’m still a virgin, mind you, and will remain so until I find the right girl) from a girl who was my “what if” girl from high school… And being mildly disappointed with the experience to boot. Now, getting back on track, I was hours away from having Rebecca come down again; just so I would be able to get my mind off of Sam ignoring me, and the complete lack of human interaction (and a really nasty week on top of that). Then, thankfully, I called her up the moment I woke up and had my bearings about me, and cancelled on her (she was ready to drive down).

As it stands now, Sam is on vacation (on another fucking continent, no less) for two weeks; though I did manage to talk to her before she left, and she promised that she’d get together for dinner with me when she got back to Ann Arbor, and settled in a new place. And, you know what? It’s going to be a long two weeks; but now that I have the internet in my apartment, meaning more communication with the outside world (and much less loneliness for me), I don’t think it’ll be too bad.

Comments

mittens

on May 13, 2004

As was pointed out by a friend, I did go a bit crazy with metaphors and commy-happy/hyphen-happy grammar. I'm just experimenting with differnet writing styles.

Shabazz

on May 14, 2004

You're crazy... but I understand what you are going through.... these are just butterflies... and you need to keep your head straight...

Rebecca... BAD...
Sam... GOOD!!!
CLF... cool... but you'd better make sure that you don't let her powers affect you my brother... they are potentially evil!!!

My truth serums are good!!! and you will have the recipes after I graduate... but really... you are cool... take your time... and don't worry... just chill with Sam... with most women, it's just a matter of being comfortable with you before they bear all... (literally or otherwise...) if you want an example... look at me... it's just patience...

PATIENCE...

Peace.

mittens

on May 14, 2004

You really need to work on your over-use of punctuation.

Anyway, oddly enough, CLF has been a major part of my last two dreams... It's kinda odd. Of course, in one of the dreams, Lionel Luther was after me for killing two people...

island_gurl12

on Jan 25, 2005

What's up with the unknown replies???

Anyway, i liked your article. Sorry that you're so confused about who you like, but get used to it, because life is all about being confused.

Having said that, you say that because Sam is away it'll be a long two weeks time. Obviously it is Sam you like. Avoid drooling for CLF. Focus on Sam, and if it doesnt work only then can you seek someone else's company. But if you play around neither of them will want anything to do with you.

Good luck!

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